I went to an acting workshop yesterday. Well, it was really more of an acting lecture, but all the same, I enjoyed it. The speaker took us through a visualization exercise that I found rather impactful given my current life situation. It went something like this:
Picture yourself as a small child. Back when you were young, and vulnerable and full of hope and youthful joy. This is your inner child. Now take yourself by the hand. Look up and standing in front of you are your parents, smiling peacefully. And you say to them, "Mom, Dad, thank you for raising me the way you did. Thank you for teaching me and guiding me and loving me. And I forgive you for the mistakes you made. They weren't your fault. After all, you're a product of your own upbringing. But now it's time for me to take over. I can no longer live my life for you." Your parents smile, and wave goodbye. You turn and start to walk away. You keep walking until your parents are gone and it's just you and your inner child. He looks up at you perhaps a tad confused or scared, but you lean down, gather him in your arms and say, "It's okay. I've got you now. You are safe, and I love you. I'm here with you now, and I always will be." Then you put that child into your heart. Once inside, you flip on the lights and your heart is a place of light and warmth and creativity where you and your inner child can play and explore and create together.
Well, that about broke me. I had tears streaming down my face. I think that actually probably has more to do with my relationship with Dad than with you. But maybe it doesn't. I guess Dad just seems more...here? Which sounds obvious, but I think you know what I mean.
Anyway, I guess what I want to say with all of this is...thanks. And I forgive you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta go. This chubby cheeked little piece of heaven and I have some catching up to do.