I am at Disneyland with my family. My roommate Shelley is home doin' her thing. Roommate #2 (henceforth to be known as The Former Roommate - TFR) has a surgery planned and her mom has come to town to help with the recovery. The Mom brings her dog along. TFR allegedly tests positive for COVID. Her doctors do not inform her. (I am willing to concede that this might have happened, but I am HIGHLY skeptical)
I am still at Disneyland with my family. TFR has surgery.
(We didn't start documenting until later because we didn't realize it would be such a big thing.)
- Dog peed at end of hallway
- Dog peed at end of hallway for a second time that Shelley slipped and fell on
- Dog peed by garbage can in kitchen
- TFR is discharged from the hospital
- Dog peed by Shelley's hamper in her bathroom
- Dog peed on Shelley's bath rug
- Dog peed on rug in hallway
- Dog peed in hallway for a third time.
- I arrive home from a weekend at my boyfriend's apartment to find pee on my bathroom floor.
- Dog barking in the middle of the night, every night.
- Dog barking a lot before 7AM
- Dog eating cat food in Shelley's room
- Dog peed at end of hallway for a 3rd time
- Dog knocked over Seb’s food dispenser Shelley's room. (Seb is Shelley's cat)
- Whenever the dog is left in TFR’s room it whines non-stop.
- Dog barking after 11PM
- Dog peed in my bathroom. Again.
- TFR is not doing well in her recovery and is readmitted to the hospital
- Dog barking 2am
- Dog peed in hallway bathroom again
- Dogs were barking while I was trying to record for a job. Went to tell the mom that the dogs needed to stop barking. On my way back to my room, I stepped in yet another puddle of dog pee. I used my teacher voice to tell her she needed to clean it up. The Mom was on the phone and said, "Yeah, I'll clean it up in a minute." And I said to myself "Lord give me strength" and to her "No. You'll clean it up NOW." She then came and wiped it up with toilet paper. I then cleaned it with cleaner.
- I walk into the bathroom first thing and find a used menstrual pad on the bathroom counter.
- Shelley and I have had it. I type up a letter laying out our grievances (all of the above along with the mom leaving trash everywhere, cooking food and leaving it on the stove overnight, not properly locking the front door at night, leaving lights on) and ask The Mom to find somewhere else to stay while in LA. I taped it on the bathroom door where she'd see it, and left for the weekend.
- Dog eating cat food in Shelley's room
- Dog peed at end of hallway for a 3rd time.
- Shelley informs me that The Mom has basically ignored our request, but is at the very least cleaning things up in the apartment.
- Dog peed in Shelley's bedroom. Again. Mom gave attitude when told.
- Dog is barking incessantly.
- Dog is barking and The Mom is making no attempt to quiet him.
- Another place is discovered in Shelley's bathroom that the dog has peed.
- Shelley leaves for NY.
- Happy Easter!
On April 8, I had a medically required breast reduction surgery. I was sent home directly after surgery, and I experienced worsening fever and fainting during recovery. I went to the ER with my complaints and was just sent back home, told that it was all due to having had major surgery. Two days after my ER visit and five days after my surgery, I received a call from my doctor letting me know that I had tested positive for COVID-19 on the day of my surgery. They operated on me when they were not supposed to. As soon as I was aware, I went to get tested for COVID-19 at my nearest urgent care, and I then received a negative test. However, while I was at the Urgent Care clinic, I fainted and was sent over to the ER again. I was then admitted to the hospital for eight days to recover from major surgery and the worsening residual effects of COVID-19. As if this whole stress wasn't enough, while hospitalized and taking full-time courses, I received a three-day eviction notice for having my mom and her small ESA dog stay over in my shared apartment to help me recover.
Despite multiple letters from my doctors that I needed my mom's company for my safety and documentation that my mom's dog is an ESA dog, my landlord continues to threaten to evict me. Returning "home," I face the continued threat of being evicted and roommates harassing me, my mom, and my dogs. They have been verbally abusive and have threatened to take my mom's ESA dog. My roommate has even yelled at my mom that her dog would be "disappeared." I feel unsafe at home, and I need funding to find emergency housing and to pay legal & medical fees.
If anyone knows of any affordable housing or resources, please comment below.
I appreciate any help at this time."
I am not aware of the exact dates that I was positive however as stated on the email that was only addressed to The Landlords that was later shared with you guys without my consent (It was not. The Landlords called to let us know she'd tested positive), I know I was positive on April 7th. I’ve been negative since the day I was made aware on April 13th. As you know I’m bedridden (She is not, as is evidenced by her leaving the house while the stove was on), recovering simultaneously from my major surgery and covid.Therefore I am responding as soon as my medical condition allowed me to (Our first email was 5 days before. She'd had time to do A LOT in that five days, but evidently a quick response to an email was beyond the scope of her capabilities). Thank you in advance for understanding. Also feel free to throw away any food that’s gone to waste. In regards to everything else please stop harassing me with claims. (???) I will have my items removed by the 30th of April at 11:59pm. I ask that I only have communication directly from The Landlords as they are the owners of the apartment.
She also apparently sent a separate email to The Landlords explaining that she was moving because she was being forced out and harassed and intimidated and feared for her safety. Ostensibly this is her building a case so she doesn't have to pay rent in May, as she'd otherwise be legally on the hook for it.
In a conversation with The Landlords, they said we'd figure out what to do about May rent. They also said we could take a cleaning fee out of TFR's deposit. You may remember the dog pee that started this whole adventure.
TFR comes with The Mom, 2 sets of Mormon Missionaries, and a couple of friends to begin packing up. Shelley and I sit on the couch quietly working on various things - getting some subtly confused looks from the people walking in the door. At this point we don't necessarily trust TFR, so we want to be around when she's moving. They finish whatever they want to for the day and leave. One the way out the door, Shelley reminds TFR that she still owes money for April's internet bill. TFR is caught a little off-guard and sort of stammers out, "Uh...talk to the landlord," and then leaves. We find this odd. She does end up paying Shelley for the internet. This reminds me that TFR will need to pay her share of April's power/water bill. I send her a text telling her that she can either pay an estimated amount based on our typical bill (which doesn't vary much), or I can send her an exact bill when it comes in June (our bill comes every two months). I hear nothing from her.
TFR comes to move out most of her stuff. I am at work most of that day, but come home toward the end and work quietly on my computer at the kitchen table (see above about wanting to be present for the packing up of apartment things). I take a moment to ask her what she'd like to about April's power bill. She responds in a way that makes it clear she is NOT happy to to talk to me at all, "Can we just deal with that later? I have so much going on right now. And why are you even out here? You literally have a desk in your room." And I respond, "Well, I live here, so I can be wherever I want." And she says, "I live here too." And while she has paid her rent through the end of the month, A - her living there has nothing to do with me sitting at the kitchen table, and B - she'd have a hard time proving to anyone that she was, in fact, living there. I just told her we could deal with the power bill later. I had also noticed that they'd cleaned all of her things out of the bathroom except some over-the-door storage she had hanging on the back of the bathroom door. I thought perhaps they just hadn't seen it so I said, "Also, just want to make sure you got your storage thing from on the bathroom door." She said, "Can you just not..." and I calmly said, "TFR, I just want to make sure you got your stuff." And she said, "Well, the less words from you the better." Which I think perfectly sums up her approach to communication during a conflict which is how we ended up where we are. I wanted to tell her that part of being an adult is dealing with the consequences of one's actions, which is what she's in the middle of dealing with. And that paying the power bill is part of those consequences. And that she could have simply said, "I'd like you to send me a Venmo request when you get the bill." I wanted to tell her that despite what she believes, and is apparently telling the whole world, we are not out to get her. But I don't say any of that.
TFR moved the remainder of her things out. In the process she took the roll of toilet paper from the holder in the bathroom, the light bulbs from her bedroom, and a dish soap refill which she did not buy. At no point during all of this did TFR or The Mom apologize for the dog pee. Shelley and I breathed a huge sigh of relief to essentially have this finally be over.
I want to be perfectly clear about something - TFR was not evicted. She did not receive an eviction notice. Neither she, The Mom, nor the dog was ever threatened - and in fact, Shelley and I made conscious efforts, even in our not-the-best moments, to make sure we weren't being threatening. As far as Shelley and I are concerned, she was not harassed or intimidated, though I'm willing to concede she may have felt that she was. She chose to move out on her own.
Shelley and I didn't want TFR to move out. All we really wanted was to have the dog stop peeing on the floor. I mean, ideally we would have liked for The Mom to be a more considerate house-guest in general, but would have settled for no more dog pee. This entire situation was exacerbated by the fact that The Mom doesn't drive, so we were having to wait until TFR was recovered and feeling well enough to drive her back home to Central California.
There were a few more incidents - and certainly things that happened between TFR and The Landlords - but it's been three weeks since this all started, so I can't remember everything. Plus, this gives you a pretty good idea of what went down from our perspective. Shelley and I each certainly had moments when we could have handled the situation better, but we each also recognize that, and have apologized to TFR or The Mom for those moments, have learned from them, and have done better afterward. From our perspective, this spiraled out of control largely, if not entirely, because of TFR's decisions at every step of the way - the biggest and most detrimental of which being her refusal to communicate with us, especially because she was in the hospital for a large portion of what was happening. A simple text or phone call very early on in the process saying, "Hey, my mom said such and such. What's going on?" would have saved us all a lot of grief. She became more and more childish and unreasonable with every passing day, and even now refuses to take any responsibility or recognize her part in this.
For my part, I genuinely wish TFR well. I want her to land in a place that is a good fit for her. I want her to thrive and grow. Shelley and I even discussed covering TFR's rent for May or reaching out through our own social networks to help her with a transition to a better living situation (though we cannot, in good conscience, do so now). Of course, we were never able to communicate that with her. If you want to donate to her campaign on GoFundMe, that would be a nice thing to do. I know she and her mom would appreciate the support what with medical and moving expenses piling up.
I will simply enjoy the extra storage space under the bathroom sink.